Burdened and a burden, that's what i've come to be.
I am no longer who i was, i'm just an empty shell.
hollowed out by fear and sadness, it's swallowing me whole.
i survive each day with hopes of eternity, but what about right now?
adam fell that men might be, and men are that they might have joy.
i once had joy in my possession, but in the mirror its not in my reflection.
i reach for something to cause me to feel, but what is empty cannot function.
why cant i control what controls me, and covers me in darkness.
i beg on my knees daily and nightly, throw me a bone i ask politely.
i love my god and my elder brother, they've given me this great blessing.
because of them i can be eternally happy, but what about on earth.
i've lived a good life, i've done what i know is right.
but where has that gotten me? enveloped by a despair that is gripped so tightly.
all i can do is keep on going, and keep pushing to survive.
i have no weapons or offense, i am defenseless.
i've lost everything, happiness, dreams, and will to live.
but i know better and i can not change this.
not my will, but thine.
-Cooper Swenson
